Insights on Truth and Faith

In my last entry I referenced the below, re-posted from a group forum where I am a member. Names (except Marcie's and Scott's) have been omitted to protect the innocent. ;)

Marcie-ism: Something that is true does not require our belief to make it so. It is true regardless. Our lack of belief does not invalidate it nor validate it. It simply is (i.e., you don't have to believe it for it to be true).

Therefore, just because you don't believe something doesn't mean it isn't true (e.g., just because you don't feel loved, doesn't mean you're not loved). (Click below to read more...)


Corollary: Just because you believe something doesn't make it true (e.g., I'll never be good enough; he only loves me for my money; etc).

Hebrews 11:1: Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

This scripture finally made sense to me when I realized that faith is acting on the truth, even when it doesn't feel true. Last Tuesday Marcie asked what would happen if we acted as if we were loved (by a particular person).

Now, faith is always in a person (God, spouse, daughter, etc.). When I respond to Scott as if he loves me, even when I don't feel loved, I am showing faith in him, his love for me, in the person I know he is, has been and will be.

Once Scott and I planned to meet for dinner at CityWalk. He was a half-hour late. During that half-hour I told myself all kinds of stories about how inconsiderate he was, how he didn't like to go to CityWalk, how he was probably playing with the dog instead of being on time to meet me... or possibly that he had been in a car accident! Finally after running the gamut of emotional responses, I decided that I would believe in Scott. I decided that when he arrived, I would give him a kiss and say in my most sincere voice, "I'm really glad you're here." Thank God, who gave me the whole half-hour to work this out instead of having Scott arrive at a point where I would have acted angry or panicked! When I saw Scott across the way, I smiled (even though I didn't feel happy), went forward to meet him, gave him a kiss and said, "I'm really glad you're here," just as I planned (STORYBOARD!). His face had been set in what I interpreted as a negative expression, but at that point I saw his whole body and face relax, like something went out of him (probably he was preparing to defend himself against me!), and he said, "traffic was terrible," and I validated that. And dinner was nice.

Marcie-ism: Trust is Truth over Time.

This is why I record news & goods about Scott, whether on my blog, a journal or scraps of paper in a jar. So I can remind myself of Truth and see a pattern of Scott's faithfulness. For me, this also applies to God (on whom we place our childhood wounds); and it's how we encourage each other in our faith, by reminding each other of God's faithfulness. In group we remind each other of truth all the time (being transformed by the renewing of the mind, Romans 12:2 my paraphrasing), which is important because as we know--

Group-ism: I am only as good as the last good thing I did, but as bad as every bad thing I've ever done.

--and we apply that group-ism to other people, too (e.g., Scott does one bad thing and all I remember is how horrible he is, not all the good things).

Another definition of faith that Marcie shared is: Faith is believing when all evidence points to the contrary. I think the key is remembering that we can make any available evidence fit our current frame. So another way we can demonstrate faith is by changing our frame.

P.S.:
This is the kind of personal theology (how God works in my everyday life) that I'm constantly working out in my journey, ever since I realized 3+ years ago that there is only one of me and I can only have one journey (vs. separate spiritual, emotional, career, marriage journeys).

Back to the Truth

This morning in one of the little devotionals inside my bible I read this:

Our feelings can change from day to day, and even from hour to hour. As a result, there are times when we must WILL to affirm and express our love to our mate.

Bother. This is another one of those times when everything I encounter points to the one place I need to grow, isn't it? And I should happen to read this the morning after a not-so-loving incident with Scott; our new "core scene", if you will. It's so hard to embrace opportunities to grow, especially because they usually don't feel very good!

It points back to Truth. As I'm sure I've written before, I have to act in Truth, with faith in Scott, not in the behavior-of-the-moment (his or mine). This morning as he kissed me good-bye, I smiled and said a quick prayer over him (which I have taken to doing in the last few weeks), even though I wasn't feeling very charitable. His response was so positive and completely loving as he blessed me in return. I was instantly chagrined that I had almost skipped this little ritual between us; the only person I would have been hurting was ME.

Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 1 John 3:18-20

It's been so long since I've written in this blog (so much has happened!), that I went back and read my last entry. In it were examples of Scott's love and growth that I had "recorded for [God's] glory and [my] encouragement". Marcie's right; there really is some chemical change in the brain when you read this stuff, because I feel better (ironically amused with myself) already! And God knows this (after all, he designed us), which is why we are instructed to remember.

This reminds me of another post in the same vein, which I wrote on a group forum where I am a member. I'll repost it as my next entry.